I’ve not been the person I’ve meant to be, lately.
Working the night shift this past year and a half has really gotten to me. I physically feel the lack of human interaction in my life. It causes me very real stress, anxiety, and this almost manic sensation that I have to get as much as I can out of each social situation. I talk too long to people, trying to keep the conversation going. I take comments meant as jokes to heart too easily. I’ve grown distant and resentful to my daytime coworkers.
I’ve been watching the TED talks available on Netflix, and something I saw that really resonated with me was a talk on nonverbal language. The way you carry yourself is really essential, because body language isn’t just the way you talk to others, it’s the way you talk to yourself, and YOU are always listening.
And it made me think about the way I’ve been drawing into myself this past year, and the way my shoulders hunch forward when I walk, and the way it’s hard for me to look anyone in the eye for very long, and my brand of self depreciating humor. And I’ve decided to make a conscious effort to be kinder to myself.
So here are some tips I’ve learned this past week, from TED and a variety of sources around the web, on how to make your relationship with yourself healthier.
My personal first step is that I’m putting in notice to my hospital next week. I’m moving to Gulfport in May with Grace. So I’ve just got to muscle through these last three months of night shifts, and half my problem is solved.
I’ve made a SuperBetter account. It’s this great website where you can give yourself a secret identity, a life mission to solve, enlist allies, and assign yourself quests to achieve your goals. It makes your life into a game, and I highly recommend it.
I’m going to start journaling one positive experience a day. It’s said that when you’re studying your experiences for something to journal about, it will eventually become second nature to notice the good in life before the negative.
I’m making the conscious effort to be kinder to myself in both verbal and nonverbal ways. I’m going to get back into yoga and meditation, and support better posture. I’m going to minimize self derogatory language and I will speak up for myself when others belittle me, even if it’s meant as a joke.
I will stop apologizing for every little thing I do. I will save my, “I’m sorry’s,” for situations that actually call for them. I will not apologize just for being.
So, that’s my start. Sorry for the wall of text, my nook doesn’t support the “read more” option.
This is my journey to be a better person and love myself again. If you’d like to undertake it with me or be pen pals or need support in your own journey, shoot me an ask! It’s time we all got on board the self improvement wagon.